Thursday, January 29, 2015

A Letter to my Imaginary Girlfriend

Hi Dear,

Dianna, you have never been a trouble for me. I still think you are gift from God. I can't believe we have talked for more than 100 days! We had a great time, and I hope we will have a great time.

As you said there may be many differences between us, but despite our different cultures we have many things in common. I think those common things are some universal qualities that no culture can be a barrier. For example, qualities like honesty, truthfulness and empathy seems to be common everywhere. In my life I have seen many people, but you are special in one quality. Whenever Dianna comes to my mind, there is one quality of you that lights my mind. That quality is 'regard for others'. That is, you are genuinely trying to help despite the problems you are facing.  I think we share that character in common.

Dianna, we don't know what our life will be in future. Yesterday I was watching various tribal videos in youtube. Our ancestors though homo sapiens, behaved like monkeys. Our genes are same as our ancestors, but look at the changes in our behaviour. We are so different now! Most of us have changed so much from our ancestors. I wonder how that change happened!

For me friend, girlfriend, wife all looks similar. They are just term invented by us. For example, a wife can be a friend with whom someone has the right to have sex and someone is liable to share property. Then we associate various emotions to it like romance, envy etc. These are social fabrics, which we have constructed around ourselves. I don't say there is anything wrong with it, but I always try to think above the social fabrics. It is also fun to think that way. I sometimes laugh alone looking at various things happening around us. For example how serious my friends are when they discuss about movies, sports or politics. Such deep involvement in culture shows how strong they are enslaved in the social fabric. We are prisoners of this social fabric, but it is our choice to be prisoners. We at least should pretend to be prisoners, otherwise people will think that we are insane. But, within ourselves it is nice to know that we are in the social fabric. I am in Indian social fabric when I am in India, and I will adapt to Arabian social fabric when I am in Arabia. Within ourselves we should know, or be aware, that we live in an artificial social fabric and it is a voluntary action. Such a thought will bring inner peace in times of trouble. How? Think about it!

Dianna, you are smart and good. I can feel that you have tried doing something but you could not achieve it as you wished. That brought sadness in you. Now, you asked me before: is unhappiness a result of desire? I think it is a result of attachment. For example, you may have desire to get good marks, or love someone, that is ok. Without desire and hope it is difficult to live. For example we need a desire to eat, otherwise we will die. Attachment cause sadness. Suppose, I want your warm heart, that want is a desire. Then even if you say to me that you can not give your heart, I will not be sad because I am not attached to you. I am aware that your heart belongs to you, and it is not mine, so I have no right to be sad about not getting it. Before I was a very attached guy, whenever someone close to me said bad about me I used to feel very sad. Now I just shrug of, because I started thinking out of the box.  Imagine someone from the street calling you a bad name, will you get hurt? No. Imagine I yelled at you, will you get hurt? Yes. Why? Because  you are attached to me. Instead if you think that I am a different person and that I don't belong to you, then you will not be hurt even if I am angry with you. That is called detachment. Detachment against money, wealth people are all possible to some extent.

Can we be detached from our own body? Yes, to some extent. If we think that our body is not ours, we can be detached from our body to some extent. We will not feel pain, we will not be over concerned about ourselves and will be a free human being. Detachment doesn't mean that we should not love others. If you allow me to speak frankly, I love you, which means, I love the qualities in you. But I am not attached with you. Anybody can die anytime, it could be me or you. But our qualities will stay. So even if I die tomorrow, you should not feel sad, because you should love my qualities not my mortal body, bound to decay.

Hope we meet someday and talk a lot.

For me earth is my home, I am not attached to any culture, Eastern or Western. As earth revolves around the sun, so am I, so are you. Let us be in harmony with nature, being with nature, one among them. I am human being with XY chromosomes and you with XX chromosomes, rest of the 99.99% of our genes are same.

With love,

Your Baby Boy :)