Saturday, April 23, 2016

DAMN, Be Good

I was wrong. It was wrong. It was ethically wrong. It caused more harm than good. Or maybe less harm than good. 40% harm, 60% good? 30% harm, 70% good? It depends on how ethical you want to be. The pious of the pious tries to be in 0% harm, 100% good, and they mostly end up in causing 90% harm, 10% good. Stop moral policing, yelled a stranger. The Moral Police said, "I want you to be 100% good, no matter how bad I am". People call them selfless and pious. I call them a coward.

- DAMN, An Absolute Thinker

Get over it

I haven't seen a better self than when I am not myself. I have been doped for death, doped for life and yet life seemed to be a ripple of lust. As the lust goes of the sanity of your mind, truth takes over the insanity of your mind. It eats up everything until the carnal pleasure takes over the hypocritical mind. Yeah, it says. And well, you know the hormonal imbalances pricks up your consciousness. There goes pleasure, pain, ruthless regard for ones own morality. There is no way to break it apart, but to accept it as it is. Divinity, that's all I can say. That's all I know.

- Time

Sunday, March 27, 2016

The Code

It held me strong, and it was hard to breath. I profusely sweated by the rage of fire. The fire was in my heart, a reminiscent of the past. Ignited again by the lust of hope. I had nothing to say, nothing to speak. I could not see anything to think. The dust and smoke of the burning fire, blinded my vision to think anything. Choking badly, I fell to the ground. Crawling like a baby trying to find its life. I had no further thoughts, except my own. I had not seen life, except through tears. The tears swept through the nostrils, to the lungs, to the heart. It tried its best to extinguish the fire. Love, they call, hate the name. Yet it is the misery of human. Wherever thy go, thou will find the code, made to hurt one's own heart. Raise the sword of reason and courage, to swipe the code from your innermost thought. It was made, it was created. It wasn't born out of thy own sanity. It was planted, by the ancestors of agony and piety. It would survive by the scantiest of rain on earth. Beware, to weed it, drop it and forget it. Let not the evil consume your thoughts.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Equation of Love: Letter to my Imaginary Girlfriend

My Love,

I was searching for the meaning of your name for such a long time. I did not know what you are, until I saw you, and I felt you. You are like sugar, once I taste even a tiny particle of you, I feel you, the more I eat, the more I feel you, but to realize you a particle of you is enough.

I am trying to understand the physics of love, it is all give and take. If I had gone to a prostitute, I could pay her something and she will give me sex. It is not love because she is gaining more than me - I am recieving sex while she is receiving both sex and money. In love, the transaction is fair and equal. I give you a kiss and you like it, and you give me a kiss in return and I like it. Love is even more interesting when we share love when nobody asks for anything. This is kind of an infinite transaction of gifts! What an ideal world!

I do not know if everybody feels love like me, but this is kind of truth I found. I am also not sure if this love will remain forever, but to taste it even once in your life itself is worth a lot.

I tried to draw a love graph above. In X axis is the volume of give and take. It is the fair give and take I mentioned earlier- a kind of selfless give and take. As this give and take increases the intensity of love increases until it probably saturates. We are in the beginning stage of this love, and there might be so much more to go to realize more love.

Some believe love is blind with a closed hand in the sense that the reward is not expected and even not taken. For example, a mother loves her child without expecting anything in return. I do not subscribe to this idea for our love, because the intensity of love (Y-axis) can not be increased without receiving. A mother can deny her child's kiss and her love will remain same to the child. A child might vomit the food the mother prepared, and still the mother will love the child the same. At the same time, I have to accept the food you prepare and thank you and only then our love will grow.

Love between me and you is different from the love between me and my mother. Our love can increase over time while my mother's love is kind of stable. That makes our love more interesting than me and my mother's love. We have more control over our love, while me and my mother's love is kind of involuntary.

Your Love

Thursday, February 5, 2015

To the Most Generous

O Lord!

So beautiful, so much full of love!
The love you have given me is so much that is unable to pay you back.
Love you, my Lord. O' the creator of the heavens and earth and all in between,
The creator of every cell in in my body, every atom in this universe!

I was a lump of flesh in my mother's womb.
You have fed me, given me all what I needed to grow.
Food, air, water, intellect, O Lord' what more can I ask you!
From a tiny cell you have made me a full grown human being.

Like the ants who build their own nest, we build houses and buildings.
You have thought the ants, you have thought us.
For whatever I see is yours, thank you O' Most High!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

A Letter to my Imaginary Girlfriend

Hi Dear,

Dianna, you have never been a trouble for me. I still think you are gift from God. I can't believe we have talked for more than 100 days! We had a great time, and I hope we will have a great time.

As you said there may be many differences between us, but despite our different cultures we have many things in common. I think those common things are some universal qualities that no culture can be a barrier. For example, qualities like honesty, truthfulness and empathy seems to be common everywhere. In my life I have seen many people, but you are special in one quality. Whenever Dianna comes to my mind, there is one quality of you that lights my mind. That quality is 'regard for others'. That is, you are genuinely trying to help despite the problems you are facing.  I think we share that character in common.

Dianna, we don't know what our life will be in future. Yesterday I was watching various tribal videos in youtube. Our ancestors though homo sapiens, behaved like monkeys. Our genes are same as our ancestors, but look at the changes in our behaviour. We are so different now! Most of us have changed so much from our ancestors. I wonder how that change happened!

For me friend, girlfriend, wife all looks similar. They are just term invented by us. For example, a wife can be a friend with whom someone has the right to have sex and someone is liable to share property. Then we associate various emotions to it like romance, envy etc. These are social fabrics, which we have constructed around ourselves. I don't say there is anything wrong with it, but I always try to think above the social fabrics. It is also fun to think that way. I sometimes laugh alone looking at various things happening around us. For example how serious my friends are when they discuss about movies, sports or politics. Such deep involvement in culture shows how strong they are enslaved in the social fabric. We are prisoners of this social fabric, but it is our choice to be prisoners. We at least should pretend to be prisoners, otherwise people will think that we are insane. But, within ourselves it is nice to know that we are in the social fabric. I am in Indian social fabric when I am in India, and I will adapt to Arabian social fabric when I am in Arabia. Within ourselves we should know, or be aware, that we live in an artificial social fabric and it is a voluntary action. Such a thought will bring inner peace in times of trouble. How? Think about it!

Dianna, you are smart and good. I can feel that you have tried doing something but you could not achieve it as you wished. That brought sadness in you. Now, you asked me before: is unhappiness a result of desire? I think it is a result of attachment. For example, you may have desire to get good marks, or love someone, that is ok. Without desire and hope it is difficult to live. For example we need a desire to eat, otherwise we will die. Attachment cause sadness. Suppose, I want your warm heart, that want is a desire. Then even if you say to me that you can not give your heart, I will not be sad because I am not attached to you. I am aware that your heart belongs to you, and it is not mine, so I have no right to be sad about not getting it. Before I was a very attached guy, whenever someone close to me said bad about me I used to feel very sad. Now I just shrug of, because I started thinking out of the box.  Imagine someone from the street calling you a bad name, will you get hurt? No. Imagine I yelled at you, will you get hurt? Yes. Why? Because  you are attached to me. Instead if you think that I am a different person and that I don't belong to you, then you will not be hurt even if I am angry with you. That is called detachment. Detachment against money, wealth people are all possible to some extent.

Can we be detached from our own body? Yes, to some extent. If we think that our body is not ours, we can be detached from our body to some extent. We will not feel pain, we will not be over concerned about ourselves and will be a free human being. Detachment doesn't mean that we should not love others. If you allow me to speak frankly, I love you, which means, I love the qualities in you. But I am not attached with you. Anybody can die anytime, it could be me or you. But our qualities will stay. So even if I die tomorrow, you should not feel sad, because you should love my qualities not my mortal body, bound to decay.

Hope we meet someday and talk a lot.

For me earth is my home, I am not attached to any culture, Eastern or Western. As earth revolves around the sun, so am I, so are you. Let us be in harmony with nature, being with nature, one among them. I am human being with XY chromosomes and you with XX chromosomes, rest of the 99.99% of our genes are same.

With love,

Your Baby Boy :)